Want to be a Better Leader? Let Go of the Ego

Posted by Daniel Incandela on

I have an ego. You do, too. We all have one. Ego is, simply put, the way we view ourselves—especially our own importance, ability, and worth. Ego is the source of our self-esteem and, at times, can provide a much-needed boost of confidence. Other times, the ego can be the source of friction, conflict, and unnecessary drama.

Managing the ego can be a real challenge—especially in a professional context. In fact, I feel like I’ve spent the majority of my career trying to keep it in check. My ego has perhaps become less prominent over time, but it’s still there, causing me to prioritize my own needs in situations where it’s not warranted. Flares of ego are a constant reminder that I have more work to do, both as a professional and as a human.

As one of my heroes, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, puts it, “Check your ego at the door. The ego can be the great success inhibitor. It can kill opportunities, and it can kill success.” 

What’s my beef with the ego? It is in direct conflict with a lot of things I hold to be true:

I still have lots of work to do, but I’m placing a deliberate focus on managing my ego, which has allowed me to builder stronger connections, take greater pride in the work my team or my colleagues create and be much more open to feedback. I’ve accepted that I can always improve and deliver better work, so I actually look forward to receiving input and challenging myself to do more.

There has been a lot written on the ego. This excerpt from The Dangers of Ego in Leadership stood out to me:

“A leader with an ego believes that their mission is to win and succeed over others. But they need to realize the only meaningful mission in life is to pursue a purpose larger than themselves. The choice is to live by a calling rather than by what can be acquired. This takes another choice: to be selfless over selfish. A record of accomplishments is what leaders are admired for, not who they think they are. History bears this out repeatedly.”

To control the ego, you must first consider it (just a tiny bit). Part of defining your own leadership is thinking about your legacy or the impact you will leave. This very much plays into the trappings of the ego. However, there are ways to define your legacy while also facing your ego head-on. For example:

  • Endeavor to be remembered as a humble leader who consistently invested in their team and looked out for their best interests.
  • Build your legacy as a leader who was eager to help their team receive credit, rather than taking credit for themselves.
  • Serve as a mentor and supporter to those around you. (I wouldn’t be a CMO if it weren’t for others investing in me.)
  •  Approach challenges and colleagues with a focus on a positive outcome.

Ego or not, each of us is responsible for developing our own leadership style that contributes to the culture and success of our business. We have the opportunity to build incredible, positive, creative environments where every individual has an important role to play and a voice that will be heard. This is the future of great marketing: harnessing the power of human creativity to drive data-driven technologies within a company. Our egos will only interfere with this vision.

I challenge you to think more deeply about this. And to let go of the ego.

This post originally appeared on MarTech Advisor.


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About Daniel Incandela

Daniel Incandela joined Return Path in January 2015 and currently serves as Chief Marketing Officer. As the head of Return Path’s marketing organization, Daniel’s vision shapes the direction of global marketing efforts, providing leadership and innovative strategy to drive the business forward. Prior to Return Path, Daniel held marketing and digital leadership roles at Salesforce Marketing Cloud (formerly ExactTarget), Indianapolis Motor Speedway, and the Indianapolis Museum of Art. In each of these positions, he reinvented the organization’s approach to marketing and established new standards for digital marketing excellence.

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